Let’s make this simple.

Tell a golfer “don’t hit the ball into the trees” … and watch the ball go into the trees. Oops.

Tell a golfer to “hit the ball down the middle of the fairway,” and chances are better that’s where the ball will go.

What’s going on? Why would it matter how we phrase what seems like the exact same goal?

Well, only the picture of what we want gives us an image we can hold in our minds and use to guide our actions. It’s easy to see the golf ball soaring in a high arc straight down the middle of the fairway.

But what does “don’t hit the ball into the trees” look like? We literally have no idea.

You see, our minds are wired to ignore the “don’t.” So we’re left with a picture of hitting the ball into the trees, which makes it more likely that’s where the ball will end up.

Still, the social convention is to correct mistakes. So I yell to the kids at the pool “Don’t run!” even though I know perfectly well that “Walk!” would be a better choice. The words pop out of my mouth before I think.

The same pattern plays out in organizations and society, also without thought. We try to solve problems, fix mistakes (and fix people!). We come up with long lists of things we’re against and want to stop.

None of that struggling gives us a clear picture of where we want to go. (So where do we end up? Hmm.)

We’ll get a lot farther if we focus on creating the kind of world we want.

Could it be that world is already right in front of you? Let’s take a look.

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